i want to. would love to.

i wanna create a little world of my own imagination, where i get to be the perky main character with a bright future and happy ending.

where i get to wish upon a star and it answers me back.
where i get to be brave and love someone vividly without any fear of being rejected.
where i get to be taller and skinnier and probably to have a sharper nose. 
where i get to go across the limitation & just do something i want without worrying that i might disappoint people. to defy the gravity.
where i get to please people. every each of them. to help the starving, rejected with no bright future people. to be able to help sincerely. 
where i get to be healthy all the time, where i get to be full of energy.
where i get to be happy, not to shed any tear over matters i don't really understand.
where i get to be paid for doing something i truly love.
where i get to have my room be free of dust and fallen hair fall.
where i get to wake up early every morning and have a chit chat with God without being interfered by my lazyness.
where i get to eat enough. to eat and to stop when i'm suppose to. then probably, that way i could get that skinnier body i'm dreaming of.
where i get to use air conditioner and perfume and air freshener and plastic bags without worrying that they might ruin my beloved earth.
where i get to do good without anybody accuse me of being one of those asslickers or simply a hypocrite.

i want to. would love to.

but then,
to live in that kind of world means :

i won't know the pleasure of screaming my lungs out when i'm depressed.
i won't know how relieving it is to have big and lots of problems, but then have them all settled.
i won't know the up and down emotions of hoping that a guy would either like me or not.
to guess whether a day would turn up good or bad.
i won't know the feeling of being patted in the back, to listen to encouraging words from my beloved ones when i face my stormy moments.
i won't know the beauty of tears, because sometimes all you need is just a drop of them, running through your cheek, as an expression of both happiness and sorrow.
i won't know the advantages of being short and to sneak in a narrow- impossible spaces. plus, to appear cute to some people.
i won't know the word : "Thank God!", because i now realize it is such a powerful and soothing word.
i won't be able to learn from my mistakes and to improve myself.

that's the beauty of life.
sometimes all you need is a sense of acceptance.
hope and imagination.
strongwill.
a smile.
and good teeth to go along with that sweet smile of yours, which, thank God is one of the boons in life i manage to have.
:)

n.