Thursday, June 24, 2010

euforia.

tangan terkepal
mata melebar
mulut menganga
uang sudah banyak melayang
tapi niat tetap matang
sang jagoan harus menang

lewat sudah menit- menit awal
gawang itu berguncang,
ada sentuhan yang indah antara benda bulat itu dengan jejaring- jejaringnya
mulut-mulut itu berteriak kencang
kaki melompat
hati membuncah senang, dompet mulai terasa tebal kembali

dag dig dug
jantung berdegup menerka- nerka hasil final
bola itu kembali mengguncang gawang
mata melotot tak percaya
mulut berteriak
tangan memukul- mukul kening
dompet serasa tipis
semua harapan pupus sudah

selembar uang kertas bertuliskan seratusribu tergenggam erat di tangan, terpaksa direlakan
entah nanti mau makan pakai apa
entah nanti mau membeli rokok dengan apa
entah nanti mau pulang ke rumah dengan apa
kepayahan sebelas orang yang berebut bola harus dibayar olehku dan dompetku.
seratusribuku.

kaki melangkah menendang kerikil
perut lapar dan mata cekung
kalah sudah hari ini
tapi esok tidak boleh kalah
tim mana yang harus kupegang besok?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

i want to. would love to.

i wanna create a little world of my own imagination, where i get to be the perky main character with a bright future and happy ending.

where i get to wish upon a star and it answers me back.
where i get to be brave and love someone vividly without any fear of being rejected.
where i get to be taller and skinnier and probably to have a sharper nose. 
where i get to go across the limitation & just do something i want without worrying that i might disappoint people. to defy the gravity.
where i get to please people. every each of them. to help the starving, rejected with no bright future people. to be able to help sincerely. 
where i get to be healthy all the time, where i get to be full of energy.
where i get to be happy, not to shed any tear over matters i don't really understand.
where i get to be paid for doing something i truly love.
where i get to have my room be free of dust and fallen hair fall.
where i get to wake up early every morning and have a chit chat with God without being interfered by my lazyness.
where i get to eat enough. to eat and to stop when i'm suppose to. then probably, that way i could get that skinnier body i'm dreaming of.
where i get to use air conditioner and perfume and air freshener and plastic bags without worrying that they might ruin my beloved earth.
where i get to do good without anybody accuse me of being one of those asslickers or simply a hypocrite.

i want to. would love to.

but then,
to live in that kind of world means :

i won't know the pleasure of screaming my lungs out when i'm depressed.
i won't know how relieving it is to have big and lots of problems, but then have them all settled.
i won't know the up and down emotions of hoping that a guy would either like me or not.
to guess whether a day would turn up good or bad.
i won't know the feeling of being patted in the back, to listen to encouraging words from my beloved ones when i face my stormy moments.
i won't know the beauty of tears, because sometimes all you need is just a drop of them, running through your cheek, as an expression of both happiness and sorrow.
i won't know the advantages of being short and to sneak in a narrow- impossible spaces. plus, to appear cute to some people.
i won't know the word : "Thank God!", because i now realize it is such a powerful and soothing word.
i won't be able to learn from my mistakes and to improve myself.

that's the beauty of life.
sometimes all you need is a sense of acceptance.
hope and imagination.
strongwill.
a smile.
and good teeth to go along with that sweet smile of yours, which, thank God is one of the boons in life i manage to have.
:)

n.




Monday, June 21, 2010

c-l-i-c-h-e

waited for your call, but my phone didn't vibrate
looked for your initials through out the space, but you disappeared

got bored. and a little broken hearted
tried not to think about you.
guess what?

i successfully failed.
damn you.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

a-z


Aku pernah berkata “A”
Dan aku dimaki
Aku lalu berusaha mengubah subjek menjadi “D”
Aku mendapat cemoohan. lengkap dengan putaran bola mata menyebalkan itu
Kucoba memutar pembicaraan dengan berkata “L”
Tapi mereka menjauhiku dan mengataiku
Akhirnya ketika aku mengatakan “Z”
Mereka tertawa.
Tapi bukan karena “Z” yang aku katakan itu jenaka.
Mereka meNERTAWAKANku. Sesimpel itu.

Ada bintang jatuh.
Aku memejamkan mata dan berbisik,
Mute me.”
Agar aku tidak usah lagi mengatakan A, B, C, hingga Z.
Karena tidak ada satupun dari alfabet dasar itu yang masuk akal, paling tidak bagi otak mereka.