janji manis

(smiling)
(smiling)
(eyes sparkling)
(hands behind)
(smiling)
(scent of hedonism)
...
heeyy agneeeesss, this is funny, i was googling some random fashion stuffs and somehow i just came up with this wonderful ideaaa...
that,
when i receive my next salary, which is next month,
.......
(drum rolls)
(cheesy fireworks)

WE GO SHOPPING!
whaddaya think? huh? huh?
let's shop till we (not so) drop!
huh?
come ooonnn
yeeaaaa?

(big smiles)
(eyebrows lifted)
(another really big smile)
(long moment of silence)

okay, whatever, so here's a new homework for you: start making a (not so) long list of new badly wanteds, but keep it under budget, kaay?
kaaayy?
kaaaaaaayyyy?

(no significant reaction whatsoever)

hey i promise you this, nes. we'll go shopping. next month.
for sure.

(smiling)
(smiling)
(leaving)
(scent of broken promises)

maaaaf!

hey G.
sorry for screwing up our daily date (again) with all my dumbest excuses.
my bad.

craving for egg tarts :'(

egg tarts. egg tarts. egg tarts.
damn i see egg tarts all around me.
egg tarts please fly yourself to me,
let me eat you gently
and then keep you in the fridge only to be digested the next morning.
oh egg tarts.
egg tarts.
egg tarts.
why is it so hard to find a piece of egg tart in Gading Serpong?
eeeeerrrrrhhhhhhh
EGG TAAARTSS!!!!

That’s just me, in Love

last night (or today?) i couldn't sleep. Sooo i stayed up 'till two in the morning writing this piece of i'm-not-really-sure-of-what-this-thing-is-actually.

well, i'm not being in love and all that,

this is just another way for me to avoid boredom and seasonal insomnia. get it? seasonal insomnia. insomnia musiman, it comes and goes without being consistent and so on,

...

OH WHATEVER NES.

I know it’s stupid,
But here I am again, writing silly love songs.
I know it’s cliché,
But love does not seem to be boring right now.
I know you’re probably broken hearted,
But hey, I’m simply heart lifted.

Don’t be sick by the L word I keep repeating again and again,
Don’t throw up on the hope I build passionately,
Don’t punish me for smiling all day,
And sometimes looking at the thin air for quite a time,
Because that’s where I best see his reflection, vividly.
Yeah, the thin air, honey.

You can accuse me of being crazy.
You can accuse me of wasting so much paper,
And contributing a hundred more reasons to damage our beloved earth.
But that’s just me, in love.

Now I’m asking you,
Have you?
Have you ever been in love?
Or are you being simple and not as dramatic as I am?
But you do know that feeling inside, don’t you?
Even though you don’t express your feeling through a piece of paper,
Or admiring the sky for being so blue it reflects his face,
But I know you know.

So, here it is.
a little clarification to light up your understanding towards me.
I am alright. I am not being weird and all that.
That’s just me, in love.

love simplicity

I once asked to a best friend,
"How is it possible to write and to speak about love without making it sounds so cliche?"
and she said,
"Just keep it simple."

.

Rindu kangen miss you
Satu rasa yang melingkup kalbu
Berbagai cara untuk mengungkap kata
Tak terbaca, tak terkira

Biarlah tangis yang memperjelas
Apa yang kau pikir tak pantas

Sebuah Permohonan Maaf

Kamu capai Nes?
capai dengan tuntutan?
capai berusaha menunjukkan dirimu di tengah dunia yang ragam ini?
Dan aku,
Dengan tidak pekanya turut memecutimu
Memaksamu berlari lebih cepat dari kemampuanmu
Memakimu ketika gagal
Lalu mengelabuimu dengan impian serta ambisiku sendiri
Aku tahu kamu capai
Menghela napas dengan susah payah setiap kali kamu melihat cambuk perfeksionis itu
Ngos- ngosan mengejar ketinggalanmu
Berusaha hidup sesuai ekspektasi dunia
Dan ekspektasiku

Padahal

Aku yang seharusnya memberimu kedamaian
Aku yang seharusnya menghiburmu ketika jatuh
Aku yang seharusnya tahu kekuranganmu dan semua batasanmu
Aku yang seharusnya mengerti keseluruhanmu

Maaf, Nes
Tolong, lain kali berteriaklah dan menjeritlah setiap aku mulai berambisi liar
Menangislah lebih keras
Agar aku bisa mendengar kejahatanku sendiri
Buah dari emosi sesaatku yang tertipu imajinasi dan asumsi masa depan yang dangkal
Karena aku tidak tahu bagaimana cara menyadarkan diriku sendiri
Karena aku begitu rendah
Dan dangkal
Dengan menganggap bahwa apa yang dunia inginkan adalah yang terbaik
Dengan merasa bahwa mereka tahu apa yang terbaik untukmu
Dengan tidak mempercayaimu
Dan tidak mengindahkan setiap ambisi dan impianmu sendiri

Maaf, Nes
Silahkan tampar aku jika kamu mau
Aku sadar,
Aku layak.

another random wish

wake me up when life is easy with money spreading around the streets and love is a real thing instead of fairytale.

untitled

Blank.

You took away my creativity

You took away my sanity


I am trying not to be carried away

But you lift me off the ground

Off the earth

Off my so called known life

And you took me high

Higher

To my most crazy dreams

My illusion

Every fantasy I’ve ever had


Then you wiped away those lonely nights

Endless cry in the back of the bus seat

Moans and complains and bad dreams

All the prayers and wishes I’ve lifted to the heaven


You came

That’s all it takes,

And everything just turns out right


Now listen, I only have one thing to ask from you

You can take me high, higher, to the highest end

But just don’t let me slip off your hands

And fell to the ground.